“Without Cream” Song Parody

There could be other things I should be doing. But you know what’s fun? Writing a parody of Eminem’s first verse of Without Me:

I’ve been baking a monster ‘cause nobody wants to

Eat marg’rin no more they want butter I’m much better

Well if you want butter, this is what I’ll give ya

A little bit of fat mixed with some fresh creamer

Some proteins that’ll blockade my heart quicker than a

Chocolate chip that I eat in my kitchen with my toddler when he’s not cooperating

When I’m heating the oven while the butter’s melting (hot!)

You waited this long now stop debating cause I’m back

I’m on the shelves in bright packaging

I know that you got a job Lil’ Debbie, but your chemical ingredients are complicating

So the AHA won’t let me say or let me rephrase so let me stay

They tried to switch me out for “I Can’t Believe” but it tastes so different without cream

So come on cooks, get out your whisks, forget that

Bet on your bisque and take a big risk and systems go ‘cause this fat’s about to get dough

I just did all the research – forget you Fabio!


What prompted this creative lyrical experiment, you might ask?

I made cookies!

gluten free oatmeal chocolate chip cookies

When I pulled them out of the oven they were so big and I thought, “these are monsters!” Which then reminded me of the first line in Eminem’s ‘Without Me’ song.

And, as James reminded me, this is NOT my first food parody.

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