I’ve been baking a monster ‘cause nobody wants to
Eat marg’rin no more they want butter I’m much better
Well if you want butter, this is what I’ll give ya
A little bit of fat mixed with some fresh creamer
Some proteins that’ll blockade my heart quicker than a
Chocolate chip that I eat in my kitchen with my toddler when he’s not cooperating
When I’m heating the oven while the butter’s melting (hot!)
You waited this long now stop debating cause I’m back
I’m on the shelves in bright packaging
I know that you got a job Lil’ Debbie, but your chemical ingredients are complicating
So the AHA won’t let me say or let me rephrase so let me stay
They tried to switch me out for “I Can’t Believe” but it tastes so different without cream
So come on cooks, get out your whisks, forget that
Bet on your bisque and take a big risk and systems go ‘cause this fat’s about to get dough
I just did all the research – forget you Fabio!
What prompted this creative lyrical experiment, you might ask?
I made cookies!
When I pulled them out of the oven they were so big and I thought, “these are monsters!” Which then reminded me of the first line in Eminem’s ‘Without Me’ song.
And, as James reminded me, this is NOT my first food parody.